Taming the Tangles: Hair brushing and our senses

Taming the Tangles: Hair brushing and our senses

For most people, hair brushing is a simple part of the daily routine. But for those with autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder (SPD), and other issues this seemingly easy task can become a source of anxiety, discomfort, and even trigger meltdowns. 

Understanding why hair brushing can be such a challenge and finding strategies and techniques that work can make a world of difference.

Why Do Some People with Sensory Issues Dislike Hair Brushing?

Those with sensory issues often struggle with sensory sensitivities, which can make everyday sensations feel overwhelming. Hair brushing can trigger discomfort for several reasons:

1. Tactile Over-reactivity - their scalp can feel sensitive: The sensation of bristles on the scalp, the pulling of hair, and even the feeling of hair being touched can be incredibly painful or distressing. Their scalp may be more sensitive than that of a neurotypical person, making hair brushing feel like a painful, intense experience.
2. Auditory Over-reactivity - hypersensitive to noise: The sound of the brush moving through their hair or even the snap of a detangling spray bottle can be loud and startling.
3. Loss of Control - having someone tugging/pulling at your hair: Hair brushing can feel like an invasion of personal space, especially when someone else is doing it. For someone who struggles to regulate their senses, this can feel overwhelming.
4. Memory of Pain - those awful knots: If an individual has experienced a particularly painful or negative hair brushing session in the past, they may anticipate that all future brushing will be equally uncomfortable. Memories are intricately linked with sensory experiences.

The Impact of Societal Expectations

Someone's appearance can often be closely scrutinised, and parents in particular, can feel pressure to present their children as neat and well-groomed. For the individual themselves, this pressure can become another layer of stress. Parents may feel judged when their child’s hair is messy or unbrushed, but forcing a child into a grooming routine that they find distressing can be counterproductive.

It’s important to balance societal expectations with individual sensory needs. Hair may not always be perfectly styled, and that’s okay. Comfort and well-being should come first, and finding ways to make hair brushing more tolerable is a more compassionate goal than striving for a polished look.

Techniques to Try

While everyone is unique, here are some strategies that might help make hair brushing more manageable, and we also have some product suggestions that may be helpful.

1. Sensory-Friendly Brushes: Soft, flexible bristles are less likely to cause discomfort than hard bristles. Some brushes are specifically designed for sensitive scalps and can help reduce the sensory impact of brushing. 
2. Try Hair Brushing at a Calm Time: Choose a time when your child is relaxed and not overstimulated. Avoid brushing their hair when they are tired, hungry, or upset. Doing this during bath time may also help, as warm water can make hair brushing easier and less painful.
3. Offer Control and Choice: Let them choose when and how their hair is brushed. Give them the option to do it themselves or try brushing their favourite toy or doll's hair first to create a positive association with the activity.
4. Choose hairstyles that suit the need and hair types: If your individual can tolerate a shorter hairstyle, this can often help. Longer hair can be braided, if tolerated to keep hair easier to brush.
5. Detangling Sprays or Leave-In Conditioners: These products can help reduce the tugging sensation and make the process quicker and less uncomfortable. Make sure the spray’s scent and texture aren’t overwhelming, as sensory overload from strong smells can worsen the experience.
6. Introduce Deep Pressure Touch Before Brushing: Sometimes, applying deep pressure to the scalp or shoulders before brushing can help desensitise the area. Using a weighted lap pad or shoulder pad during the process may also provide calming input.
7. Sing a Song or Use Visual Supports: Create a short, playful song that you sing only during hair brushing, or use a timer so they know exactly how long the process will last. Visual schedules can also help prepare them and give a sense of predictability.
8. Start Small and Build Up Tolerance: Don’t feel like you need to brush all of their hair in one go. Start with a few strokes, give breaks, and gradually increase the length of time spent brushing as they become more comfortable.
9. Practice Patience and Compassion: Understanding that this isn’t about defiance but rather a real sensory difficulty can help ease the frustration for both you and them. Progress may be slow, but even small improvements can make a big difference.

Conclusion: Compassion wins over perfection

It’s important to approach hair brushing with patience, compassion, and flexibility.  The goal is to find ways that meet their sensory needs while maintaining some level of hygiene but is not to force someone into a grooming routine that doesn’t work for them.

Remember, well-being is the priority. It’s okay to let go of some minor societal expectations and focus on creating a routine that’s comfortable for you. With time, the tangles in both their hair and the stress around brushing can be tamed!